ThreeOne, Soar as one.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Hello, Everybody. Today I’m going to share an article I’ve read a few weeks ago in the Reader’s Digest by Joe Kita, which is very… Ok I just wanted to share this article. (I’m allowed to, rite? :P)

Hello. It’s one of the first words we learn as babies, yet it’s one of the last we’ll think to use as adults. In our never-ending rush to get something or somewhere, it seems we don’t have time anymore or this most basics of gestures. And that’s unfortunate, because saying hello is more than just saying hello. It is an acknowledgment of existence. It is a pause, however brief, to affirm another’s worth (and have yours affirmed in return). How might the world change- how might we change- if we mastered this word? To find out, I spent one month saying hello to every person I met. That meant strangers on the street, people in cyberspace, and even myself in the mirror every morning. Here’s what I learned:

1 It’s not as easy as you think. Age gives us crust, like the film on refrigerated pudding. Even though we may still be soft deep down, that’s not what others see. I, for one, look a lot less friendly as a bald 49 year old than I did as a curly haired teen. Mistrust becomes our unfortunate catchword, and it’s tougher to raise a hand in greeting because that invites people in. “The older we get, the more task-oriented we become,” explains R. Allan Allday, PhD, an assistant professor of special education at Oklahoma State University. “Our tendency is to speak to people only when we need something, and that’s a difficult habit to break.”

2 Friendliness is so rare nowadays, it’s disarming. Because people aren’t accustomed to being greeted, I found it a sneaky way to grad their attention and get what I wanted. For instance, when I began an email with”Hi,” I was more likely to get a reply. (Yup, that’s what I did with my smses. :P) And when I said hello to cashiers and clerks, I got better service. It’s as if I woke them up to my presence.

3 It can boost productivity. In one of the few studies ever done on this subject, Allday had middle school teachers greet their students individually each morning. This brief interaction ultimately raised the kids’ productivity by 27 percent. School went from impersonal to personal, he explains, and that resulted in more class participation and better grades. (Managers take note: Perhaps your time would be better spent at the office door saying “Good morning.”)

4 People you wouldn’t normally acknowledge turn out to be the friendliest. The gnarly, the dirty, the smelly, the semi-strange… in other words, the people I’d normally avoid or even notice were the ones who reacted the most warmly. No doubt it’s because they’re so accustomed to being ignored that any acknowledgment is akin to being feted at the Rotary.

5 Respect begets respect. I normally run or bicycle the same route at the same time each day. When I started waving to the drivers who passed me, an unusual thing happened: After a few days, they not only started to wave back, but they also gave me a wider berth. So my workouts became more pleasant and safer. “You became a person to them,” said Allday.

6 Setting influences sociability. One study found that people in New York City were less likely (38%) to shake hands with a stranger than those in small towns (68%). And, researchers say, pleasant environments generally evoke more reciprocal smiles and hellos than unpleasant ones. My experience was similar. Whether due to distraction or suspicion, my urban hello were answered far less often than my rural ones. Likewise, people in vacation spot, like beach resorts, were far friendlier than those hustling to work downtown.

7 Tinted windows should be banned. In general, highways are the worst place for hellos. When I waved from behind the wheel, other drivers would give me a dumb stare. Mobile phones certainly contribute to this (you can’t wave when both hands are occupied), but a bigger factor is our inability to see each other. Either the vehicles are too big or the windows are too dark. As a result, we share the road with faceless machines that are much easier to ignore or be aggressive towards. There is one noteworthy exception, however, and that is motorcyclists. Everyone I waved to seemed genuinely thrilled to be noticed. The threat of death makes bosom buddies of us all.

8 You need to be careful around kids. It’s an unfortunate, but necessary, sign of our times that youngsters are instinctively wary of strangers. Next to motorists, five to 15 year olds ignore me the most. Although tat wasn’t surprising, it did sadden and even scare me. To them I was the predator.

9 Reaching out focus you. The simple act of saying hello continually pulled me back from wherever my min had wandered and forced me to be more aware. It’s social Zen.

10 It can save your marriage. I never realized how infrequently greeted my wife of 24 years, or the rest of my family, until I started doing so deliberately. Common courtesy isn’t so common.

11 It’s a form of health insurance. It’s impossible to say hello without smiling. One leads to the other just as a tap causes a knee jerk. And smiling has been clinically shown to lower blood pressure, boost immunity, and release natural painkillers (endorphins), each of which lower stress, boosts happiness, and improves health. A smile creates a similar effect in the recipient. Canadian researchers found the call centre employees who played a five-minute “smile hunting” game before work, in which they repeatedly picked the smiling face photo assortment, had 17% less of the stress hormone cortisol after their shift.

So maybe we can make the world a better place by just saying hello.
After a month of doing it, I feel lighter and more connected and I have a better sense of well-being. Once I was able to break through my initial crustiness and get into the habit, it even became a game: Can I make this grump open?

If you inspired to try this at home, there’s no need to greet everyone u meet. That can be intimidating, not to mention exhausting. Instead, pick an arbitrary number- for example, three- and make it your goal to say hello to that many strangers daily. That will result in 1095 more hellos over the next year.

Wa so long... Keng :P

the almighty 3/1 posted at~
11:52 AM